SYMMETRICAL PASTA
by KaijinKyn
Summary: CRACKCRACKCRACKCRACKCRACKCRACKCRACKCRACKCRACK T BECAUSE ROMANO ONE DAY ITALY GETS A NEW BODY YAY ALSO SOUL EATER I'M SORRY


It was a fairly normal day when it happened. The bright, Italian sun shone down on Rome. Birds, native to the country, tweeted with the coming of a new day and people awoke to wander the worn streets.

It was a day such as this that Italy Veneziano, representation of the Northern half of Italy, awoke beside his older brother.

"Ve~ Looks like a good day today~!"

"Shut your mouth! Some of us are-a still trying to-a sleep here!" Italy Romano, said older brother, snapped. Italy blinked.

"Ve~ Sorry, fratello!" With that, Italy got out of bed, stretched, and went to his own room to get dressed and make himself some pasta for breakfast. No, he didn't make his pasta in his room that wouldn't make sense. Well, this story won't make any sense in a minute anyway, so...Yeah.

"Maybe I should wake up Roma...We do have a meeting! But he probably won't want to-a come…" It was a friday, the designated day for a G8 meeting. Except it was the last friday of the month, making it a world meeting.

"Ah...If it's a world meeting, Romano will have to be there! Grazie, Miss Narrator~" Just doing my job, Italy. So Italy went back upstairs to awake his brother and drag him along to the meeting. Well, he would have if it weren't for the fact that neither of the countries wanted to attend the meeting anyway. After getting his brother up and dressed, both Italy and Romano made their way downstairs. And that's when the madness began.

"Italien! Open zis door right now!" Italy and Romano both looked towards the door, Italy with fear and Romano with unbridled rage.

"Fuck off, potato bastard!" The older brother yelled. From outside the door, Germany sighed and put a hand to his forehead as Prussia sniggered behind him, Austria did the same thing as his German neighbor, Hungary glared at Prussia, Lichtenstein watched with quiet amusement and Switzerland glared at them all. This always happened before world meetings. Did I forget to mention the meeting was held in Italy this week?

"Look, if you don't come out ve'll all be late for ze meeting. If I have to break zis door down and carry you both to the meeting myself I vill. Now get. Out. Here." Slowly, the front door of the Vargas brothers opened.

"Ve~ Ciao, Doitsu~"

"Don't 'ciao' me, Italien. Come on." The group of eight all turned and started walking to the meeting, chatting and talking. Thankfully, everyone got there fairly safely. Fairly as in halfway there Italy accidently made a lude comment about Romano and Spain's relationship and Italy ended up with the gutter in his face and an angry Italian on his back. Germany had to carry Romano the rest of the way, much to his despair.

**Meanwhile**

In a circular courtroom a black and white bear sneezed.

"Choo!...Upupupu~"

**Back in Italy**

"hhghhgghgghgghghgghgghgghghgghgghggghggghggghghgghghgghgghhgghggghghttuughtuugghtugthhgughhttuugghhttgguthhguutttgghhtughhgguutthhgutthguuthguutthguutthgguuuuuuuuuuugghhtuughhtgguutghtuugghhttuughtttuutuututtuttttuutututututttutututttuttututtutttuuttutuutttutttutttuttttuutttuuttuuttuuuuuuuuuu." This was the noise Romano made as he was forcefully dragged into the meeting room.

"But I don't want to, dammit!"

"Ve~ Please, fratello? We have to be there! Our country is holding the meeting, after all…" Italy reminded him as Romano scowled.

"I don't-a care! Get off me, macho potato!" Germany sighed before grabbing both of Romano's wrists, picking him up like that and carrying him into the meeting room. By his wrists. WRISTS.

"Owowowow, fuck! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO-A DO, BREAK MY ARMS!?" Romano yelled, flailing in Germany's grasp as the rest of the nations turned to the newcomers. The Germanic nations all took their seats apart from Prussia because, you know, he doesn't exist anymore. Why was he at a world meeting? Because he likes playing World Meeting Bingo. It's usually a very short game.

"So the countries actually holding the meeting show up, huh?" America commented casually. Italy started apologizing frantically while Romano threw swears at the Northern nation, swears that most of the nations hadn't heard. Ever.

"Ve~! I'm-a sorry, America! Fratello and I just...didn't really want to come." There were grumbles from all the nations around the table about how lazy both the Italian brothers could be.

"I don't give a shit about your opinions! Let me go home!" Romano snapped. Thus the sixth world meeting had started.

**Somewhere else**

"Look! Look at this...This MONSTROSITY!" Sighs were passed around the table as the boy with black hair raged over the room they were in.

"That painting...Why is it not the same on the other side? Why is there only ONE FLOWER POT?! IT HURTS, I TELL YOU, IT HURTS!"

"Kid. Calm down." Maka Albarn sighed as she placed a hand on her friend's(?) shoulder.

"But...But...I think I'm going to faint." Death the Kid complained as he reviewed the COMPLETELY UNSYMMETRICAL room. The window wasn't even right in the middle! What kind of a room was this?! Were the designers TRYING to kill him?

"AHAHA! Black Star here! Don't worry about it Kid! It'll be fine!" Black Star fell from the ceiling onto his feet before placing his hand on Kid's other shoulder.

"Fine? FINE?! NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS FINE!" Kid raged, throwing his hands up before putting them over his own head. "Kill me please." Soul rolled his eyes as he walked past the three friends(?) and sat in his seat, picking at his teeth absentmindedly.

"So we gonna start this thing or…?" Maka nodded.

"Come on Kid. We have to do this."

"I'm sad." Kid muttered as he sat in his seat and slammed his face into the table. Maka facepalmed and Black Star laughed as they both took their seats as well.

"Where are Tsubaki, Liz and Patty?" Soul asked as he sat up.

"Here." Tsubaki said, landing on the table and scaring both Maka and Soul. Black had expected it and Kid was still moaning, so they were fine.

"Kid? Where are Liz and Patty?" Maka asked, quickly recovering. Kid shrugged, depressed. "You aren't helping!" Maka snapped.

"Here we are!" Patty said cheerfully, walking in while licking an icecream. Liz followed, looking depressedly at her purse.

"You steal all my money." She grumbled accusingly at her sister while Patty just smiled.

"It goes to a good cause!"

"What cause?"

"My hungry stomach." Liz scowled, glaring at Patty as they both sat down.

"Well, now that we're all here...Kind of…" Maka started, glancing at Kid. "Let's start!" Patty put her hand up.

"Yes?" Maka asked.

"What are we doing?" The room was silent. Maka groaned before joining Kid in his attempt to fuse his face to the table.

**Back in the Meeting Room**

The meeting, as well as the room it was being held in, had quickly been wrecked. Germany was trying to regain order before things got even worse. He wasn't doing a very good job of it.

"Ve~ Doitsu, are we gonna have pasta later?"

"Not now, Italy…"

"No, later!"

"Argh!"

"AHAHAHA! DUDE, I'M THE BEST!"

"YOU WANKER!"

"Ohonhonhon, zis is amusing. You get 'im, Angleterre~!"

"Shut up, bloody frog!"

"Ve~ Doitsu~"

"Jeez...Why can't you all just get along aru?"

"Ufufu~ But Yao, if everyone got along meetings wouldn't be so fun, da?"

"Big brother…"

"Ah..?"

"Marry me...marrymemarrymemarrymemarrymemarryme"

"CHINA HELP!"

"Little brother, I'm so sorry!"

"...Huh, aru. This IS amusing."  
"VeVeVe~ Doitsu~"

"KESESESE! I have stolen your vital regions once again, aristocrat! Vhat are you going to do about it?"

"You idiot…"

"Eh?"

"Give back his happy place…"

"EEEEEEEEK!"

"Veee~ Doooitsuuuuu~"

"Hey, hey, Roma~!"

"GET OFF ME TOMATO BASTARDO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING OH MIO DIO WHERE ARE YOU PUTTING THAT FRUIT- CHIGI!"

"Ve~ Doi-Doi-Doitsu~"

"Fine! TAKE THIS! BRITANNIA ANGEL!"

"Wait dude what-?"

A bright flash engulfed the entire world meeting room as England, dressed as an angel (for whatever reason) pointed a stick with a star on the end at America. He dodged out of the way just in time as a strange beam shot out of the stick/wand/thing and hit Italy in the face, sending him backwards and onto the floor. No one moved for a moment.

"Italy?" Germany said hesitantly. Slowly, Italy got up from his position on the carpet.

"What...Where...Where am I? Who are you people? WHY IS THIS ROOM NOT SYMMETRICAL?!"

**Back in DWMA**

So the meeting (somehow) progressed. Kid got over his depression and joined in the conversation. What was their meeting about? Don't ask me, I'm the narrator not the story writer. The important thing is, half way through the meeting Kid suddenly flopped forwards, slamming his head into the table. No one moved for a moment.

"Owie." Kid muttered, sitting up and rubbing his forehead. His eyes were closed, and he suddenly smiled.

"Oh hey~! New people~ Hello there! I'm-a Italy Veneziano, wanna be friends? Ok, now where did Doitsu go? Ahh~ I hope he said we can have pasta later...I-a love pasta~" The other people around the table stared at Kid for a long moment.

"K-Kid...Maybe you hit your head a little too hard when you slammed your face into the table." Maka said gently, looking worried. Kid turned to look at her.

"What are you talking about, pretty girl~?" Maka blinked before going red. "I was just in a meeting with all-a my friends, and we were all yelling and it was really fun and then England attacked America except it missed and now I'm-a here!...Also, who's Kid?"

"You are. And America is a country, don't be silly. Stop messing around now Kid, it's scaring us." Liz said, frowning.

"Ve~ Sorry! I don't know a Kid. Maybe if I ask Japan he'll get you all Alpacas~!" Black Star grinned, placing a hand on Kid's shoulder before slamming Kid's face into the table.

"B-Black Star!" Tsubaki stammered, waving her arms around in panic.

"What? Maybe if we do it enough times he'll go back to normal!" Soul grinned.

"Yeah!"

"Ve?" And so Black Star and Soul started slamming Kid's face into the table multiple times while the others tried to get them off Kid. Well, Maka, Liz and Tsubaki tried. Patty watched while licking her ice cream.

"Hehe~ This is fun." She looked up at the ceiling as the sound of screaming came from above. "I wonder who's upstairs?"

**Back in the Meeting Room**

Italy was now running around the room yelling while the other nations watched, some amused and some worried. Germany sighed before placing his hand firmly on Italy's shoulder.

"Italien. Vhat are you doing?" Italy turned to look at Germany before reaching up and grabbing the taller man by both shoulders.

"You. Who am I?" Germany narrowed his eyes.

"Italy." He responded. Italy shook his head.

"Preposterous. My name is Death the Kid! And THIS ROOM IS NOT SYMMETRICAL." he let go of a confused Germany's shoulders before looking down at himself.

"This is...I'm wearing blue. This is new." Italy put a hand to his chin. "Quickly. Someone get me a mirror." He clapped his hands twice as an angry German man turned to face a Brit still wearing an angel costume.

"Vhat...did...you...DO?!" England flinched, looking worried.

"W-well...I...It was suppose to hit America! Blame him!" England panicked, pointing at America, who spazzed.

"DUDE! This isn't my fault!"

"Everything is your fault, Al." Canada sighed. No one heard him. Italy, meanwhile, had managed to get a hold of a mirror. How? No one knew. Probably just pulled it out of hammerspace or something.

"What...Oh. I lost my stripes. Well, this is good! I'm not unsymmetrical anymore." The man said cheerfully, examining himself in the mirror. It was one of those small hand ones, which was why he hadn't noticed the curl. Yet.

"This definitely isn't Italy anymore aru…" China muttered.

"Vell vhere is he?!" The German snapped. Italy tapped his chin.

"Well, if I'm here in this man's...dashing body, I suppose he must be where I was before." Italy explained casually. Heads turned.

"...I like smart Italy, can we keep him?" Austria asked, looking thoughtful.

"Nein! No matter how obnoxious, annoying, irritating and mysterious Italy may be, he is still...my...f-f-f-fri-frie-...ALLY and I vill not abandon him!" Germany yelled, slamming his fist into his palm. There were nods. Italy pouted.

"Well, it was fun while it lasted-...OH." Heads turned to look at the brunette.

"What is wrong, Italy?" France asked.

"This...This CURL. Why is it there? WHY DO I HAVE IT. IT MAKES ME UNSYMMETRICAL. I HATE IT." He turned to Germany. "You! You seem to be good friends with the man I am inhabiting. Pull out this curl." Germany blinked, looking flustered.

"Sorry, vhat?"

"Take it out. I want it gone!" Italy demanded.

"But- zat's your-"

"I don't care! Take it out!" Germany blushed slightly before reaching forward and grabbing the curl carefully. Almost instantly Italy crumbled to the floor, moaning.

"Dude, what?" America said, staring blankly at Italy as if he couldn't understand what just happened. Not that he would tell anyone Nantucket brought about the same reaction…

"YOU PERVERTED BASTARDO!" Came a yell.

"Oh. Great." Germany muttered before an angry Romano lunged at him. Spain grabbed him before he could get anywhere near the German man.

"No, Roma!"

"LET ME AT HIM! HOW MANY TIMES DO I-A HAVE TO TELL YOU TO NEVER TOUCH MY STUPID FRATELLOS CURL?! AND WHY ARE YOU STILL HOLDING ON?!" On the floor, Italy was still making noises like he was in the middle of having hot sex.

"Ohonhonhon~" France deserved the frying pan he got to the face.


End file.
